Met a guy at a work function who lived in NYC, so I decided to go visit him for a night.
Things were going well- until he walked me into a club. Club on a first date? Pass.
But the real deal breaker was when he left me in Central Park the next day at 3pm for an “impromptu birthday dinner” for his sister.
My flight was at 9pm and we had checked out of the hotel.
He’s been texting non stop since- and is baffled by the fact I won’t answer.
I went on a date with a guy. Things were going well, until he dropped the term “shmushmorshion” jokingly. I brushed it off as a funny reference to the movie “Knocked Up” and kept chatting.
A family was sitting behind us. They had two children, about two and four-years old. Later into the date, he looked at the two year old who had started crying and said “yea, shmushmorshion”. I proceeded to explain to him that you can’t smushmorshion a two year old. That’s actually murder.
There was no second date.
I showed up for a first date and when the dude showed up he was fumbling around in his pocket.
He proceeded to pull out a limp red rose with the stem cut off.
I was praying he wasn’t cheesy enough to actually bring a rose to a restaurant on a first date- but it was so much worse.
He placed the rose all dramatically on the table and said; “There will be a rose given at the end of this date…maybe.” and laughed.
I had no freaking clue what he was talking about and all I could think of was how to get the hell out of there.
Turns out he’s a big fan of the Bachelor show and was trying to make a funny joke.
Such a fail on so many levels. First- I’ve never even watched that crap and second- really dude- you watch The Bachelor!?!?!?
Needless to say, that rose did not leave the table.
I was out with friends and met a beautiful girl. We were kicking it and it seemed too good to be true when she asked me to come back to her place.
Let me tell you- this girl was smokin’. We were almost naked when I realized my gum had fallen out of my mouth and into her hair!!
I didn’t want to stop hooking up so I tried to slyly fish it out- but she caught on and asked me what I was up to.
Had to admit what I did and she freaked out, screaming and running into the bathroom. I jumped out of bed and put my shit back on as fast as I could and raced out of there.
Damn- don’t think I’ll be seeing her naked again.
Texting can end a relationship/hook-up before it begins. You can be one word, or emotion away from not ever hearing from the hot girl who was just drunk enough to give you her phone number at the bar.
Here are a few simple rules to adhere to when texting:
“How r u?” Makes you sound lazy to us. If you can’t bother to type out a full word, should we really expect you to plan a date?
If you’re ending you’re sentences with a ;) or a smiley face then you’re most likely saying something you shouldn’t. “Remember meeting me or were you a little over served? ;)”
You’re wit is lost on us- all we see is that you’re judging us and that’s not cool.
Be a real man and pick up the phone. We know it takes balls and makes you nervous- we feel the same way.
Stop trying to play it cool, we know you saw it and we’re asking for a reason, not trying to be cute.
There are exceptions to this rule (our phone broke, we lost our phone)- but we most likely got your text and are choosing to not answer (ignore it) for a reason. We’re not hypocrites; chances are we’re just not that into you. Sending a barrage of texts will annoy us and cause us to tell our girlfriends about the “texting psycho”.
Do yourself a favor and pick up the phone to talk it out. Yes we know it sucks to talk it out…but we’ll admire you for calling and the argument will most likely be cut in half.
7. Please don’t ask us to send you naked photos of ourselves.
With our face or without it- we know you’re planning on showing your friends. A little respect for us will go a long way for you. (in the bedroom)
I was out with a guy I was super into- I even broke my rule of not dating guys with kids for him.
One night after dinner we went back to his friend’s place who my good friend was dating to meet them for a party.
About 15 mins into the party I couldn’t find him so I went looking into the bedroom and found my friend and him doing COKE together.
I got out of there fast and haven’t spoken to him since.
Not really friends with her either.
Oh and it was a Tuesday night.
On my way home in a cab after a long Friday night out, the guy I had been talking to texted me to stop by on my way home. Having canceled on him for a date the night before, I thought, “Why not? I’ll just stop over and say hi”.
He invited me to come lay down with him in the bedroom and we were chatting and intermittently kissing on the bed. Having never slept with him, and not having planned to do so that evening, all clothes were on when I rolled on top of him for a better make-out angle.
From what would prove to be a very unfortunate vantage point, I spied something clear, plastic, latex and used on the bedside table. I froze. Thoughts-a-million were flashing through my stunned and spinning head: How long had that been there? If it was from the night before, he sure wastes no time when a girl cancels on him. Gross, what a terrible house keeper!
I must be getting punked… His glance met my eyes that were fixated on the discarded prophylactic to his right and all I could say was “I think it’s time for me to go”. He proceeded to reach over, grab it, and hold it up saying as some sort of twisted conciliation, “See! It’s not even used, it’s empty”! “Eww!” I exclaimed as I rolled to a sitting position on the edge of the bed where I zipped up my boots as fast as humanly possible. I would later think, “Well that’s even worse, you couldn’t even finish with my poor stand-in…Glad I dodged that ED bullet”.
As I walked the 10 paces out of his bedroom, (clearly decorated by his mother unless he had actually selected the orchid prints that hung on the walls in mirrored frames himself), he said in a nervous voice, “I really like your dress!”. I replied in a sharp monotone, “Thanks” without looking back and saw myself to the door…
Thought I was going to a nice dinner but didn’t know it was a 12 course meal…dinner was the longest 4 hr, drawn out coversation of my life.
Note to men: don’t take first dates to have 12 course meals.
Blind date, met at Nobu.
He was a neurosurgeon. He spoke all of two words and those words were expressing how he wants to get a tattoo of a brain on his chest! Weird.
At end of date when the bill came, he sat there looking at it until I picked it up and gave to him.
There was no date two.
Went on a date with this beautiful, sexy Argentinian for dinner.
During the main course (btw- we were eating at a trendy restaurant), he leaned over the food to not just give me a peck but wanted a full makeout.
I pulled away but that only made him do more.
By end of dinner we had made out 3 times…and not by my choice.
